rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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