I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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