you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
