The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's blow job season.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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