My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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