porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize