As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dick very happy bro
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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