She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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