I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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