After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
