I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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