I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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