Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
