I think my vagina is haunted
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
