Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
