Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I love you. Go after that dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
