He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
