Will you blow on my dice?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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