This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I know her cup size but not her name....
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