I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
