you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
