Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
