How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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