Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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