In the future we'll all be gay
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
