haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
