Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
