I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
