some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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