6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
