eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
