very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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