we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
