Only a mothe r could love this liver
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
