drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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