I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
