goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
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