i was rollin on her like bob the builder
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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