awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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