Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
send nudes
from the living room?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
