Is it normal to miss your booty call?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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