my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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