Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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