hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
