Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
