I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
