her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
