Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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