So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need a beard to bite.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
