Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
