they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
