she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
