Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You dont lie about slip and slides
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
