My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
