he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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