You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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