Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
