did you get engaged???
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
