Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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