I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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