Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
