why didn't you poke me back
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
