jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
