Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I FOUND THE LEGS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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