areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I bet he comes in French.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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