Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
