we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize